I have one friend who admitted to me last year that she had distanced herself from me intentionally. I think she meant my anxiety was too much for her. Since she told me that I feel awkward reaching out to her. I read into her response or lack of response on Facebook to comments I post. I'm not sure if she's genuine when she agrees that we should get together. I'm not surprised that none of those plans have worked out. I saw her the other day and it was awkward. I was awkward. I'm getting more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. So many negative thoughts flood my head. I know that all of my friends can't feel as negatively as my mind tells me right now. I feel trapped by my anxiety. It's taking away my friends. I don't know how to be myself anymore.
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I read this early this year and meant to comment, but being depressed doesn't allow for timeliness, I think this is a common trait. I feel exactly the same about my friends. And even though recently one of my friends has grown closer, she doesn't get it. I end up almost manic around her so I don't just burst into tears or craziness in front of her. And so I don't get sick of hearing me constantly talk about the darkness(so to speak). She lives on the light side, and doesn't get it. I feel fake around my friends mostly, and have lost many. Always feeling so guilty and reading into situations that might mean nothing at all. I'm told its also being highly sensitive. I hope things improve for you.
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