The Disconnect

In the past year or so I have becoming increasingly isolated. Friends that I used to call close I can't seem to keep up with anymore. My mind is easily filled with thoughts that my friends find me to be a nuisance or that they're mad at me. 

I have one friend who admitted to me last year that she had distanced herself from me intentionally. I think she meant my anxiety was too much for her. Since she told me that I feel awkward reaching out to her. I read into her response or lack of response on Facebook to comments I post. I'm not sure if she's genuine when she agrees that we should get together. I'm not surprised that none of those plans have worked out. I saw her the other day and it was awkward. I was awkward. I'm getting more and more uncomfortable in my own skin. So many negative thoughts flood my head. I know that all of my friends can't feel as negatively as my mind tells me right now. I feel trapped by my anxiety. It's taking away my friends. I don't know how to be myself anymore.