Sleep used to be more magical...

I slept most of the day today. I didn't need to. I woke up at 7 or 8 this morning and felt wide awake and like I could get out of bed and have energy. But I didn't want to, so I willed myself back to sleep. And managed to keep falling back asleep each time I woke up for the majority of the day. Now it is dark out, and I am finally awake. I don't really want to, but I don't think i can sustain sleep anymore, and I would definitely be awake all night if I tried. I may be awake all night anyways. Although, at this moment, i feel like I could manage a nap.

This is not healthy behavior, I'm pretty sure. And the frustrating thing to me is, I used to be able to sleep away feelings better. My problems would seem smaller, and the next week things would get better. Now, my feelings are very real and there and not going away. Being an adult is stupid. And I don't really feel better. I just feel alone and isolated. And things are not going resolve all easy on their own. The ex is still my ex (although the text saying he loved me and the brief kiss were not helping in solidifying that), work is still a mess, and my finances are still a mess. And no one is fixing those things for me. And none of these things seem smaller after sleep.

I know I have loving, supportive friends. Several of them have been checking with me on this and listening as much as I need. But I'm so lonely. Everyone has these busy lives. I need company. I'm alone in this stupid apartment, and I don't know how to ask anyone to interrupt their life to spend time with me.