Work Faster.

I took my new upped dosage of meds last night. I really wish immediate gratification were possible with meds. Waiting is dumb. Especially when you have this ugly dead inside feeling with you when you wake, when you work, when you try to relax, when you sleep... Or if not dead inside, a wishing you were dead inside. I'm tired of feeling like this. I don't want to be this person. Why can't I just be happy with what I have and all that junk?