Motivation

So now that my meds have been at a fairly good level for a while, I'm feeling less apathy. I'm actually feeling a little bit of energy, and interest in doing stuff. The problem is, I've got some pretty good low-energy routines and habits. My laptop is my friend. I can talk to friends, read the news, watch tv, check my email, do work, read about things, buy things, listen to music... all from teh comfort of my bed. But I shouldn't just crawl into bed every night when I get home and stay there, right? It's occurring to me that perhaps this is not a good habit. I know, I should have thought about this a while ago, right? But my bed is so comfy and it's so nice to lay down when I get home. And then I never get up.

I am realizing I have this whole other part ot my living space, and it might be healthy to be out there sometimes. I could eat meals at a table instead of on my bed. I could watch movies on my tv. I could do projects... in all that space. don't ask me what kind of projects, but I'm sure I have some to do. Not crafts. I hate crafts. I could read books. I only read books when I'm outside or at restaurants alone now. As a result, I've been reading the same book since like December. It's a good book. But perhaps I should try finishing it sometime soon.

This might also help me with my goal of keeping my apartment cleaner. Right now, my bed is my island. All of my activity happens on my bed. Which can make my room get very messy very quickly when I don't want to get up and put things away or I don't look up from my computer enough to notice my surroundings. Bad. I used to clean and organize when I was stressed. Recently I've started doing this at work again. It's time to get my personal life clean and organized. I've been feeling icky for too long. It might be time to start taking care of myself again.

And then after all that energy comes into me and I feel actual interest and energy around those thoughts, I get up, and do something for 5 minutes, and I don't want to be. Because I like my routine and this living life thing takes energy.