Calm Down and Relax!

Two pieces of advise I am tired of hearing:

1. Calm down.
2. Relax.

followed closely by

3. You should try yoga.

In response:

First of all, you should never tell a woman who is all wound up to calm down. That one is easily addressed. Just don't do it.

Second, I really don't understand why people tell me to relax. Apparently I am a particularly tense person. Although, the people who seem to tell me to relax the most are the men I date. So the question is, does that mean I am an inordinately tense person, or that they make me tense in particular situations. Is it because I pick the wrong men and they make me tense, or because I'm all messed up and uptight?

Third, why is yoga so magical? The insistence in it's magical powers to cure my depression make me resent it. I don't want to try it now.  I'm feeling quite hostile towards yoga.