Dreams I Could Do Without

I have always had certain dreams I have in time of stress. There's the one where I'm driving on twisty roads and hills and my breaks don't work. There's the one where I start floating upwards and at first it feels freeing and then I realize I have no control and keep floating up (slightly reminiscent of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory). There's the one where I wake up and think there is a spider on or near my bed, to the point where I get up out of bed, turn on the light, and possibly get a shoe or the vacuum before I realize it was a dream and that I can't see in the dark. These I've had since at least high school. Then there's the one I started having after college where I realize I am not done with high school and start going to class. Usually I spend a lot of time trying to figure out where to park because I drive now and I never drove to school. Once or twice it involved being naked. Interesting considering I never had naked dreams until my 20's.

Whenever I have those dreams, I know that I am stressing about things. There's a theme of control in most of them. Going out of control, needing to gain control.... It should not have been a surprise to me when my therapist pointed out, and Coolgirl confirmed, that I am a bit of a control freak. I did not think I was. Apparently I am. I need to feel in control of my environment. Awesome.

I'm not sure what my latest dream is about. I've had it twice now. Last month, I woke up (I swear my eyes were open) and there was a man standing next to my bed looking at me. Especially freaky since I was the only one home. I screamed, twice, and loudly. It was 2am. It was a little disconcerting that the neighbor didn't seem to notice. Coolgirl thinks it was a ghost. She thinks that it was probably a friendly ghost and maybe I should take comfort. Um... not so much. Last night I had the dream again. I went to bed at a decent hour, for once, and awoke to what I swear was a man standing in my room saying something with a deep voice. I do wonder if what woke me was my own loud snoring. But I screamed. Only once this time.

Is this what night terrors are like? Am I starting to lose it? Is this simply evidence of my heightened state of anxiety? All I know is that I feel real fear and an ookiness that my regular stress dreams do not bring. I feel unsettled. I don't want to sleep. Except that I really love sleep. I want someone to quiet my fear. And that other feeling. I can't quite put my finger on what it is.