Saturday, August 7, 2010
Pukey Feelings
The alcoholic friend sent me a message confirming that he did, indeed check his email. I had sent him a one line message on facebook telling him to check it, because I know he has been checking facebook, but I am not certain he's been checking his email. I didn't want to send such a lengthy message to his facebook inbox. So he essentially said he checked his email, didn't elude to what I said, and then commenced telling me what job he had lined up for the next few weeks and said talk to you later. Words like denial, manipulation, and scrambling for control come to mind. And I am all shook up. So I guess his mission was accomplished if that was his goal. Why did I have to check that message at 11:30 at night? I want to talk to someone but I don't want to wake someone up/ interrupt their happy Friday night. My counselor says that's me having control issues and that I should let my friends make the choice whether they have time to support me. We texted. I want to go lay on someone's couch and cry.
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I'm sorry sadgirl I'm sure you want to do all the talking to get out of your system so to speak so I won't try too hard to help but.
ReplyDeleteFrom what i recall reading before you sent a message to set up boundaries with this guy, a guy i believe you admitted you had a sort of toxic relationship with.
Part of setting up boundaries healthy ones is letting people on the other side of it make there own choices for good or bad. He follows suit good, if he doesn't he losses you (from the sounds of it). Believe what he said be no more on what was said, the what if's from it WIll drive you nuts.
Be even more resolved your doing the right thing, I am proud of you. Cry if it helps and sleep, that always helps.
That's just my two cents though so don't take what I say too personally either ;) I'm only looking to help if I can :)
(sorry for the length, I've been through similar recently)
--- Mike