This icky feeling is getting really, really old. I'm tired of it. I am hoping I am on my way out of it. Sometimes I think I'm coming up out of it, and then I wake up with it again, or I sit and relax and my brain starts going and I find myself back in an anxious state. So annoying.
I have a friend who has a very dry sense of humor who jokes about being "dead inside" when she's feeling down. I've been thinking about that phrase a lot lately. I kind of miss the times I have felt "dead inside." It used to be weird and concerning to me when I would go through periods where I was the opposite of emotional. I would not be able to remember the last time I had cried. I would not freak out about things that I knew I would "normally" be upset about. It would really trouble me.
I miss that. I would like to be dead inside. I'm ready to go back to that. How do I get back there?
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