Bad Day

It seems that at least a few days a month now, and often the whole week before my period too, I feel so depressed and desperate. I feel like it should not be this hard when I'm medicated.  The pain is palpable. I've had to take a few sick days. I feel like my mental illness is becoming debilitating. It's hard to contain my anxiety and maintain the appearance of normal function. It's becoming too large to hide. 

I was already feeling off this morning and trying to figure out how I would make it through the day at work when I got a text. A young woman I worked with was shot and killed this week. She did nothing wrong. Some crazy man shot her.  It adds to the feeling that this world has tilted and has become the hell I sometimes feel I'm living in. 

My thoughts are muddled. I can't even express this turmoil I feel caught in. It's a bad day. I would like more good days please.